Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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