bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
