Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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