I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
