I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
