would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
