She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
