Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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