Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
