youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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