omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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