You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
