..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
