That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
