I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There r osticjed everywhere
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
