You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
