My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
