Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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