What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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