Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
