if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
