If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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