I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
