I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
