Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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