I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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