That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just forgot I was standing up.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
