I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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