Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
A+ Viking dick
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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