He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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