we have pet lesbian snakes
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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