i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i love accidental penises.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
