Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
