She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Houston, we have a blender
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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