Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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