His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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