did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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