Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
