I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
