he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Someone came in the potted fern
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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