I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
