If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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