fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
