he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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