Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
