i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
