if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
