i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
