And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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