this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
