I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
