you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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